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Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment . What extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction
Every country has their own substantial budget both for medical
research
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
Use synonyms
. The implications of both
Use synonyms
research
Change to a plural noun
researches
show examples
 can affect our
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in general. In my opinion, exploration
towards
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 could be beneficial for us and can help the generation to live better in the future.
Body paragraph 1
First
Linking Words
, our activities have been affecting our
environment
Use synonyms
 in which arising natural calamities,
such
Linking Words
 as bushfire, landslide, and flood.
Recent
Change preposition
In recent
show examples
 times, we have been watching the news regarding
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 bad effects of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 crisis.
For example
Linking Words
, a few months ago, there was
flood
Add an article
a flood
the flood
show examples
 in Indonesia
then
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 followed by
cyclone
Add an article
a cyclone
the cyclone
show examples
 that affect
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
show examples
 of people to be
resecued
Correct your spelling
rescued
recycled
.
Therefore
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, we need an improvement in our analysis in relation to
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and find solutions to prevent
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
worse effects.
Body paragraph 2
Second
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, if we still did not carry our
research
Use synonyms
 through
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
our surroundings
show examples
, we will fail to discover new things that embodied our habitat. New medical findings can be invented based on
this
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
 as well.
For instance
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, we can cure more plant diseases and animals as well.
Thus
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, it is
also
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 necessary to have depth analysis in terms of our
environment
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both
research
Use synonyms
 activities are important but we should not forget our
environment
Use synonyms
 as in times of our new discoveries of viruses, there is no doubt many things we need to explore and yet to be discovered.
Consequently
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, environmental
research
Use synonyms
 should be prioritized more as
this
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also
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 can help medical activities.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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