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Band 4.5

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities
In each society, all folk ,
association
Fix the agreement mistake
associations
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 and governments have special responsibility for other people and society I completely disagree with
this
 sentence that the party should provide welfare amenities for the public. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 issue
then
 followed by a reasoned conclusion. Private teams in each country help
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 economy. They can supply
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 for the education of ordinary people
also
 they can hire people and pay regular salary for them.
Therefore
 they help to control unemployment,
in addition
, they can provide more equipment for their
employee
Change the noun form
employees
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such
 as health care, sports facilities even education amenities and
this
 equipment
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a sense of satisfaction in their staff so, they work with more energy
also
 more partiality and in the end,
this
 atmosphere leads to a good result.
Such
 as more benefits
as well as
 increasing financial activities so, needs more employees.
Such
 a function
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 authorities with reducing unemployment.
While
 if the club do extra activities
such
 as providing social facilities maybe they will be away from the main task.
On the other hand
, because private group supply their costs and expenses with their benefits, they are sensitive about expenses.
Also
, they do not like to spend in
this
 field. If they have to do these activities, maybe
do
Verb problem
they will
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 not do well. In conclusion, as far as I know, it is better for
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and companies
as well as
government
Correct article usage
the government
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which
Correct word choice
if
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 non-profit
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 or
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities are
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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this
 task and companies
make
Verb problem
provide
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 more benefits
until
Change preposition
by
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 providing better conditions for their staff.
Submitted by salehi19862 on

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task response
Ensure to address the prompt clearly and directly. This will help improve the task response score.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and organization of the essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion score.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community well-being
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • healthcare costs
  • public image
  • customer loyalty
  • economic growth
  • community relations
  • job satisfaction
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stimulate local economy
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