IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

#companies #sport #facilities #communities
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In each society, all folk ,
association
Fix the agreement mistake
associations
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 and governments have special responsibility for other people and society I completely disagree with
this
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 sentence that the party should provide welfare amenities for the public. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 issue
then
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 followed by a reasoned conclusion. Private teams in each country help
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 economy. They can supply
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 for the education of ordinary people
also
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 they can hire people and pay regular salary for them.
Therefore
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 they help to control unemployment,
in addition
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, they can provide more equipment for their
employee
Change the noun form
employees
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such
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 as health care, sports facilities even education amenities and
this
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 equipment
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a sense of satisfaction in their staff so, they work with more energy
also
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 more partiality and in the end,
this
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 atmosphere leads to a good result.
Such
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 as more benefits
as well as
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 increasing financial activities so, needs more employees.
Such
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 a function
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 authorities with reducing unemployment.
While
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 if the club do extra activities
such
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 as providing social facilities maybe they will be away from the main task.
On the other hand
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, because private group supply their costs and expenses with their benefits, they are sensitive about expenses.
Also
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, they do not like to spend in
this
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 field. If they have to do these activities, maybe
do
Verb problem
they will
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 not do well. In conclusion, as far as I know, it is better for
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and companies
as well as
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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which
Correct word choice
if
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 non-profit
organisation
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organisations
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 or
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities are
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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this
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 task and companies
make
Verb problem
provide
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 more benefits
until
Change preposition
by
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 providing better conditions for their staff.
Submitted by salehi19862 on

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task response
Ensure to address the prompt clearly and directly. This will help improve the task response score.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and organization of the essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion score.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community well-being
  • corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • healthcare costs
  • public image
  • customer loyalty
  • economic growth
  • community relations
  • job satisfaction
  • balanced lifestyle
  • stimulate local economy
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