IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#parents #children #tablets #smartphones #development
With technological advancements, these days’ families are letting their kids
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use electronic devices to intensify their learning.
First,
we will look at
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of pupils using these gadgets, and
then
 we will look at
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of converting to a digital environment. On the one hand, the smart learning process has proven to be quite effective in terms of the younger generation's knowledge and skill development. To elaborate, vast
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 study materials are readily available and free of charge, allowing students to obtain knowledge of any topic
while
also
 developing new abilities necessary to succeed in today's highly sophisticated world.
Furthermore
, institutions and colleges have created online class
programmes
Replace the word
programs
show examples
 for students who are unable to attend classes on campus owing to a variety of reasons.
For example
, during the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic, it was only technology that allowed youngsters to complete their studies by attending online classrooms. Misuse of these technological devices,
on the other hand
, can be harmful to youth’s physical and mental health. To explain, if families do not monitor their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
's activity on phones and computers, it can harm their wellness and, in some circumstances, destroy their careers.
For example
, if a child spends a lot of time on electronics, it might have a negative impact on the individual,
such
 as causing vision problems.
Furthermore
, seeing unethical data can harm a student's mentality.
Instead
, these issues can be addressed by adults or their older siblings with sufficient mentorship and direction.
Submitted by pravleen97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: