IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that nowadays there are some youths who decide to take a gap year between their school and university studies to travel around or work somewhere. In my opinion, there is no hesitation that living those types of experiences has a positive impact and will benefit them
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 coming back to education life. On one hand, gaining some work experience before going to university can make a difference as will undoubtedly broaden your mind
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
having
Verb problem
giving

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 a wider perspective when making decisions.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the possibility
to meet
Change preposition
of meeting

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 new people and either
improve
Wrong verb form
improving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb improve. Consider changing it.

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 or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb learn. Consider changing it.

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 new skills is absolutely
open-up
Correct your spelling
open

The word open-up doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 within
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 scenario.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the fact of going to work on a farm will push the individual into the countryside lifestyle where values
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as discipline, respect and effort are essential.
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is simply true that a need to thrive and keep forward to better adapt yourself to the unknown environment will
urge
Correct pronoun usage
urge you

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my view, travelling abroad certainly
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances

It seems that the verb enhance does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 creativity and creates different neural pathways. By visiting different countries, a wide range of cultural information can be provided,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 gaining educational knowledge which will induce new brain connections.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, visiting another country and meeting someone who brings us closer to local food and nutrition, could potentially unblock our aim to discover more tastes and nutritional properties.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all these experiences may be really practical to acknowledge your current interests.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I think coming to a decision on how the future should be managed by the age of eighteen might be quite tough.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is why
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 finishing school many people feel very lost as they do not know what studies fit them better and
consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 end up choosing something in which they are not really interested . Being aware of the existence of these other possibilities can be helpful for clarifying ideas.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points and thesis statement.
task response
Stay focused on the topic and ensure all ideas are directly relevant to the prompt. Consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Non-academic life
  • Resume
  • Job market
  • Personal development
  • Broaden their worldviews
  • Academic pressures
  • Renewed focus
  • Loss of academic momentum
  • Career goals
  • Informed decisions
  • Soft skills
  • Communication
  • Problem-solving
  • Adaptability
  • Financial burden
  • Prolonged break
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