Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solution would be effective in reducing crime?

Crime appears to be at the upward push in
maximum
Correct word choice
most
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international locations across the world, especially
amongst
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among
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younger people. The reasons for
this
seem to be
centered
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centred
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on two areas, and the variety of answers
additionally
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
possible. Perhaps the important component might be a growing divorce of a number of
parents
, thereby, deficiency of parental care and love has an adverse impact on
children
’s upbringing and psychology. Namely, 4095 juvenile offenders pleaded guilty in Mongolia in 2019,
furthermore
, 89 percent of them
has
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have
show examples
divorced
parents
.
This
pattern appears to be global, with the result that more adolescents become offenders. The second factor is the poor
education
system
. The motive
children
grow to be criminals is
abusive
Replace the word
abuse
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, assaulting,
violating
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and violating
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parents
and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
This
means criminals produce criminals. Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step would be to update the Family law to increase the accountability of
parents
, especially fathers. If we took
this
step, the number of divorces would be lesser, and
children
can
Wrong verb form
could
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grow
in
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up in
show examples
an appropriate family environment. A second remedy might be to modernize the whole
education
system
to maintain
the
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a
show examples
structure that can provide
basic
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the basic
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psychological needs of
children
and give
the
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an
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education
suitable for each individual not for the public. If
such
a
system
were
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
possible, it would support the future of each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
and reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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juvenile crime for sure. In conclusion, the law and
education
system
seems to be the threatening cause of
this
issue. ​​An immediate response by the state may well lessen the severity in the future.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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