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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people say that public sports facilities improve people's health problems. Others argue that this development has insignificant effects on public health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #facilities #health #development #effects
Some
people
 believe that the
sports
facilities
 provided improve their
health
 problems, while others argue with these ideas and think that these
facilities
 have no effects on their
health
. In the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On one hand, many
people
 and I agree that public
sports
facilities
 that had been provided is an
advantages
Change the noun form
advantage
show examples
 and will surely improve their
health
. The
facilities
 provided
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 free so everyone is able to access
easily
Correct pronoun usage
them easily
show examples
. As these
facilities
 are free to access,
people
 are able to spend their free time in an effective way.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that these public
sports
facilities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no effect on their
health
. As these
facilities
 are free to everyone, hygenic could be an issue for some
people
. As well as these
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no coach or supervisor to look after. According to
this
,
people
 might be using the equipment in an incorrect way which might cause bad effects on their
health
 in long term. In conclusion, both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
 on the public
sports
facilities
 and their
health
 problem
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very personal views depending on
factor
Add an article
the factor
show examples
 that the person is worry or give more weight
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Both opinions have benefits and drawbacks that have to be considered from their own point of view.
Submitted by nuanpan.aumm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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