IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The limited budgets of governments, especially those in developing countries, are better spent on health and education than on employment-generating projects. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#budgets #governments #countries #health #education #projects
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There is debate among policymakers that developing countries should redirect
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 spending into health and education, whereas others
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 believe that allocation
be
Change the verb form
is
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 directed to businesses that decrease the employment rate.
This
Linking Words
 essay examines
this
Linking Words
 argument, and why I believe governments should be spending
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 fiscal year
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 development projects. There are several reasons why I believe that governments have to focus on the projects that would create growth.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when a developing
country
Use synonyms
prioritize
Change the verb form
prioritizes
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
allocating
Replace the word
allocation
show examples
 from economy to facilities,
this
Linking Words
 means that there will not be growth. Growth means that a
country
Use synonyms
 is in ongoing improvement, and
this
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 development will affect countries positively.
Nonetheless
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, that allocation will have increased the government’s budget by the
next
Linking Words
 fiscal year. From an
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 viewpoint, it is vital for a government to spend its fiscal policy
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 assets
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 liabilities. Assets
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 investments, lands, and shares. By supporting small businesses through finance a government could contribute to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
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 the employment rate and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 prosperity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, maybe one of these enterprises could be successful international that it would
attracts
Change the verb form
attract
show examples
 investors from all
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the world.
Thus
Linking Words
, more money is pumping
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the economy,
therefore
Linking Words
, that money will increase the government’s budget. Not to mention, that circulation of money will affect citizens, farmers, and factories. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
health and education are crucial to a
country
Use synonyms
, many individuals think that developing countries are better to allocate
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 fiscal policy
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
sector
Change the noun form
sectors
show examples
 like schools and hospitals. It is my opinion that a
country
Use synonyms
 that has a limited budget should be focusing on finding ways to increase
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 revenue.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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