IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend more money on education than recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree.

It is believed that
government
Use synonyms
 funding should be used for
education
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 in
a bigger amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
bigger amounts
a bigger amount
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 than sports and leisure.
Government
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 should invest more in
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
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 facilities
such
Linking Words
 as high-quality teachers and
school
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 facilities. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
education
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 is a basic need for daily life and a long investment for a
country
Use synonyms
's development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a bigger amount of money on
education
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 investment need to teach
people
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 how to behave in society.
In other words
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 will provide fundamental learning for calculation, communication with language, and encouraging
people
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 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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positive
personalities
Correct the article-noun agreement
personality
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, materials taught at nursery
school
Use synonyms
 for toddlers is started with basic learning on how to wear shoes. On the higher level, students at junior high
school
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 will be taught the method to calculate a volume of a cube. Aside from maths or science curriculum, schools
also
Linking Words
 teach students indirectly in positive manners, the way to thank and apologize or how to politely speak with the elderly. With regards to
education
Use synonyms
 as a long term investment for a
country
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, the
government
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 will get future advantages from educated citizens.
This
Linking Words
 means that the period of
school
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 particularly informal
education
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 will take more than a decade. To get an elementary
school
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education
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 and high
school
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,
people
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takes
Change the verb form
take
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 approximately 12 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
people
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 continue their
education
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 by entering university, it will be 3-4 years added. Through the long term period of learning, the
government
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 believe that
people
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 with
Add an article
the high-education
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high-
Correct your spelling
high education
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education
Use synonyms
 background will contribute to the
country
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's development in many sectors
such
Linking Words
 as technology and infrastructure. To sum up, I strongly believe that it is better to fund the
education
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 sector with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 bigger amount of money, funding for the academic staff and supporting facilities.
Education
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 is a necessary foundation to adapt to civilization, it is an advantage for citizens of a
country
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
country
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 will get a benefit from well-educated citizens from various backgrounds.

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