IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend more money on education than recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
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It is believed that
government
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 funding should be used for
education
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 in
a bigger amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
bigger amounts
a bigger amount
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 than sports and leisure.
Government
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 should invest more in
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education
Replace the word
educational
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 facilities
such
Linking Words
 as high-quality teachers and
school
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 facilities. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
education
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 is a basic need for daily life and a long investment for a
country
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's development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a bigger amount of money on
education
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 investment need to teach
people
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 how to behave in society.
In other words
Linking Words
,
education
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 will provide fundamental learning for calculation, communication with language, and encouraging
people
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 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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positive
personalities
Correct the article-noun agreement
personality
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.
For instance
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, materials taught at nursery
school
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 for toddlers is started with basic learning on how to wear shoes. On the higher level, students at junior high
school
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 will be taught the method to calculate a volume of a cube. Aside from maths or science curriculum, schools
also
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 teach students indirectly in positive manners, the way to thank and apologize or how to politely speak with the elderly. With regards to
education
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 as a long term investment for a
country
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, the
government
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 will get future advantages from educated citizens.
This
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 means that the period of
school
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 particularly informal
education
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 will take more than a decade. To get an elementary
school
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education
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 and high
school
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,
people
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takes
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take
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 approximately 12 years.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 continue their
education
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 by entering university, it will be 3-4 years added. Through the long term period of learning, the
government
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 believe that
people
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 with
Add an article
the high-education
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high-
Correct your spelling
high education
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education
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 background will contribute to the
country
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's development in many sectors
such
Linking Words
 as technology and infrastructure. To sum up, I strongly believe that it is better to fund the
education
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 sector with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 bigger amount of money, funding for the academic staff and supporting facilities.
Education
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 is a necessary foundation to adapt to civilization, it is an advantage for citizens of a
country
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
country
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also
Linking Words
 will get a benefit from well-educated citizens from various backgrounds.

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