IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas
Urbanized
areas
 have been more benefited from the improvement in the living conditions than those who live in less developed
areas
,
such
 as
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. The purpose of
this
 essay is to discuss some of the issues
this
 might cause, as well as potential solutions to help in their reduction. There are some problems that end up happening due to the noticeable difference in the level of material comfort between the regions inside a country.
First
, many are moving from rural to urban
areas
 seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better life.
For instance
,
people
 from different states in Brazil move to São Paulo seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better job, but sometimes they cannot find one or have a condition to go back, increasing homelessness.
In addition
, another issue is that inequalities become more prominent.
Thus
, wealthy
people
 will accumulate more money and goods,
consequently
 having more access to comfort and technology, while others are just trying to survive.
Nevertheless
, a few actions may help to decrease the impact of the issues mentioned above. The government could invest more in the development of
people
 who live
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
areas
, in order to increase their opportunities.
For example
, offering technical courses and creating programs to help them find a job.
Besides
, more jobs could be created through the encouragement
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 companies to expand to isolated regions,
such
 as subside constructions of industries and stores in small cities.
Therefore
,
people
 would be
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
lees
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
 likely to move to downtown. In conclusion, more migration to metropoles has been happening, and better conditions may not be found, increasing issues
such
 as
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of homeless
people
.
Also
, the differences between social classes are becoming more evident and some ways to reduce those problems are giving chances for
people
 to get qualified and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 job opportunities in rural
areas
.
Therefore
 the region could develop faster, improving
way
Add an article
the way
show examples
 of living and migration to cities would be reduced.
Submitted by mariih_borges on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: