Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save the these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #attractions #tourists

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While

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some people think that using cultural themes to attract more tourists for the sake of money can cause these traditions to fade away, others believe that we can not protect these traditions without being tied to money-making targets. in

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides and support my opinion which agrees with the latter argument.

Firstly

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, those who advocate for exploiting cultural customs as a resource of cash will ruin these habits.

this

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is because they thought these traditional ways

will

Wrong verb form

would

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be influenced by sightseers' cultures.

for instance

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,in Egypt, people's behaviours

get

Verb problem

are

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affected by Italian guests' acts

such

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as eating pasta becoming more popular in Egypt than koshary which is the traditional food there.

thus

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, Society loses the unique acts that make it stand out.

Secondly

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, people's habits are one of the strongest marks that define any nation. and

that is

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why every nation should do its best to keep it.

otherwise

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, there will not be any difference between

any

Correct determiner usage

one

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country and another. So, attaching financial goals to protecting society's habits is a brilliant idea.

moreover

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, visitors love to explore unique places and that leads to escalating the funds that the country

acquire

Correct subject-verb agreement

acquires

show examples

for example

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, If visitors come to a specific place , they will not only pay fees for residence but

also

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, purchase some souvenirs to remind them of their visit ,which in return, flourish

this

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nation's economy.

To conclude

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, I support that taking advantage of the community's culture

for attracting

Change preposition

to attract

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more foreigners to make money is the only and the best way to protect

this

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culture from fading away.

in addition

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, it has an insurmountable effect on the country's economy and leads to prosperity.

Submitted by thraa58 on Thu Mar 10 2022

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Task Response

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and presents arguments from both sides. You make your opinion clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a well-structured essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. However, your introduction and conclusion could be strengthened to better summarize your main points.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Dilution of cultural traditions
Authenticity
Cultural heritage
Revenue
Financial support
Preservation
Promotion
Commodification of culture
Intrinsic value
Exposure
Global awareness
Respect and understanding
Economic gain
Local communities
Decision-making processes
Respectful portrayal

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save the these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Travelling in a group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long- term effects?