Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save the these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
While
some people think that using cultural themes to attract more tourists for the sake of money can cause these traditions to fade away, others believe that we can not protect these traditions without being tied to money-making targets. in this
essay, I will discuss both sides and support my opinion which agrees with the latter argument.
Firstly
, those who advocate for exploiting cultural customs as a resource of cash will ruin these habits. this
is because they thought these traditional ways will
be influenced by sightseers' cultures. Wrong verb form
would
for instance
,in Egypt, people's behaviours get
affected by Italian guests' acts Verb problem
are
such
as eating pasta becoming more popular in Egypt than koshary which is the traditional food there. thus
, Society loses the unique acts that make it stand out.
Secondly
, people's habits are one of the strongest marks that define any nation. and that is
why every nation should do its best to keep it. otherwise
, there will not be any difference between any
country and another. So, attaching financial goals to protecting society's habits is a brilliant idea. Correct determiner usage
one
moreover
, visitors love to explore unique places and that leads to escalating the funds that the country acquire
. Correct subject-verb agreement
acquires
for example
, If visitors come to a specific place , they will not only pay fees for residence but also
, purchase some souvenirs to remind them of their visit ,which in return, flourish this
nation's economy.
To conclude
, I support that taking advantage of the community's culture for attracting
more foreigners to make money is the only and the best way to protect Change preposition
to attract
this
culture from fading away. in addition
, it has an insurmountable effect on the country's economy and leads to prosperity.Submitted by thraa58 on
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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and presents arguments from both sides. You make your opinion clear throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. However, your introduction and conclusion could be strengthened to better summarize your main points.