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Band 5

Some people think that a sence of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio

#people #sence #competition #children #co-operate #adults #opinio
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Nowadays,
soft
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a soft
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 skill like
collaborate
Change the verb form
collaborating
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 even
compete
Wrong verb form
competing
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 with
others
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is one of
daily
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the daily
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life
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 indicators that should be
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
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 to
children
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.
This
Linking Words
 is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 competency that
children
Use synonyms
 should have when they are in
Correct article usage
the labor
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labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 industry or when they socialize with
others
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 as a society.
However
Linking Words
, it is often found the argumentations in society which is some people emphasize that
children
Use synonyms
 should be
get
Change the form of the verb
getting
show examples
 used to with
competition
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. Whereas
others
Use synonyms
 think it will be more valuable to
children
Use synonyms
future
Use synonyms
 if we train
children
Use synonyms
 how to cooperate with
others
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
competition
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 is a
media
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medium
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 to ignite
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 spirit to learn new and important things for
life
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. Through
competition
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 learn to develop their academic and emotional strength.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
, I always want to become one of
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 ten ranking in my class.
Hence
Linking Words
, I studied a lot to reach my goal. Yet, sometimes I was fail even when I had studied hard. From my experience, I did not only expand my knowledge, but I
also
Linking Words
 allowed
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
 to feel the failure and accept it as part of
life
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
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also
Linking Words
 need to get used to
collaborate
Change the verb form
collaborating
show examples
 with
others
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is an essential capability they should have.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
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 beneficial to build up
professional
Add an article
a professional
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 career for their
future
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I was
teenager
Correct article usage
a teenager
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, I was a shy person,
hence
Linking Words
 it was difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me to start
relation
Add an article
a relation
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 with
others
Use synonyms
. Later I realize that If I want to become a
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 women, I should learn how to cooperate with
others
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have joined a lot of volunteer activities to get a lot of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 on how to collaborate with
others
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.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion,
collaborate
Replace the word
collaboration
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 and
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
 are two competence that
children
Use synonyms
 should have as it critical for their
future
Use synonyms
 as an adult.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is always
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact of something, yet it depends on how
children
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 apply it in their
life
Use synonyms
. If they apply it
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much and in the wrong situation it would bring a disaster for them. To conclude,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 to skills should be
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 to
children
Use synonyms
 because of two main reasons.
First
Linking Words
,
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competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
 encouraged
children
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 to develop their knowledge and character.
Second
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,
cooperate
Wrong verb form
cooperating
show examples
 with
others
Use synonyms
 is important to
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
future
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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