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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that allowing children to make their own choices on every day matters (such as food, clothes,and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
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Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 think that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to make decisions related to some important matters.
However
Linking Words
,other
people
Use synonyms
 say that if allowing to
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
 daily things it involves food, clothes, entertainments result of
this
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 became bossy and stubborn. I completely agree with
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 statement and I have justified my view in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I believe that,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the decision
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decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
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 process is
key
Add an article
a key
show examples
 role in
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life. Whatever
children
Use synonyms
 allowing to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as food,
chothes
Correct your spelling
clothes
, entertainment, becoming friends, lifestyle and so on.It creates
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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.In
a
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apply
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childhood,
children
Use synonyms
 make
theirown
Correct your spelling
their own
decision
Use synonyms
 reason of
this
Linking Words
 in older age
children
Use synonyms
 become a selfish and they only think about himself.
Children
Use synonyms
 make their own
choices
Use synonyms
 it is possible they have
misbehave
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misbehaved
show examples
 older
people
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 and
also
Linking Words
 their
parents
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. Sometimes
children
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 choose a bad way to improve their
negatives
Replace the word
negative
show examples
 skills .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 choose their own path by own
decision
Use synonyms
 making it is bad for her family and society too.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
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 of
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, one boy studied in school . They have
take
Change the verb form
taken
show examples
money
Add an article
the money
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of
Change preposition
from
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 his friend without his permission and their
parents
Use synonyms
 did not
Stopped
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Stop
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 even he theft money in
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 make their
decision
Use synonyms
 on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
choices
Use synonyms
 sometimes it is
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
 impact on their future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
a decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better for their self-development.
Children
Use synonyms
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 good
Use synonyms
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 for their career . result of
this
Linking Words
, They can
achieved
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achieve
show examples
 more confidence and never go down in any situation in their life . Example of. In a country
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 .
Parents
Use synonyms
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to make
Use synonyms
Add an article
a decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 freely . So ,
children
Use synonyms
 can improve their skills and abilities. They cannot face any kind of fear in life . In conclusion
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 It is important to
allowing
Change the form of the verb
allow
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, it is better to make decisions on
Use synonyms
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
 . I strongly agree with
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 statement .
Submitted by writingpractice233 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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