IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

#people #schools #option #children #debate #conclusion
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that boarding schools are the best choice for
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think that it is not good, because of some reasons.
However
Linking Words
, the issue is not entirely straightforward, and the argument can
also
Linking Words
 be made against the idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the debate and a give concluding view.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, supporters of boarding
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 say that living independently gives some advantages. First and foremost,
cause
Add an article
the cause
show examples
 is that
students
Use synonyms
 can boost their confidence when they live in
dormitory
Add an article
a dormitory
the dormitory
show examples
.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
children
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 on their own, they become
independently
Change the word
independent
show examples
 to make decisions, spend money smartly and cook well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is often said that living in boarding
school
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 can focus on their lessons and spend time in
boarding
Add an article
the boarding
a boarding
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 library with their friends. At least, dormitory
students
Use synonyms
 could learn cooking
Linking Words
therefore
Correct word choice
and therefore
show examples
 would not hunger.
For instance
Linking Words
, my classmates, who live in university dormitory said that below advantages, they learnt
cook
Fix the infinitive
to cook
show examples
 well and started to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their necessary things and make decisions
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, opponents of boarding
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 point
that
Change preposition
out that
show examples
 spending quality time with their family and living
safe
Change the word
safely
show examples
 and
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important reason. As
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
reasons sometimes
students
Use synonyms
 face financial problems and feel
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
show examples
due to
Linking Words
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of parents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 with bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 might harm other
students
Use synonyms
 like taking drugs,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more time in
pc
Correct your spelling
PC
show examples
 game
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
 and
miss
Replace the word
missing
show examples
 classes.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin who lives in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
, has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started
take
Change the form of the verb
taking
show examples
 drugs and got addicted pc
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
since he started to study in Ulaanbaatar
due to
Linking Words
out of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
focus
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their parents. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 should stay with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 rather than live in boarding
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. It appears that the drawbacks of sending
students
Use synonyms
 to boarding schools far
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the minor advantages that it provides.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: