Government should focus thier spending in public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The governing bodies are the supreme power of the nation which must act in uplifting the country as a whole. The role of the government in spending revenue was always debatable but now it has become more and more controversial as, certain researchers vehemently suggested that they should spend more on public services rather than on sculpture, crafts, music or paintings. I am in partial agreement with the given topic because developed nations can be focused on arts as their basic amenities have been well established and they have ample funds for other sectors,
otherwise
developing or under-developed nations have to give priorities
to the public sector. In a subsequent, paragraph I intend to shed light on the given topic with a proper illustration and an appropriate conclusion.
Analysing the statement and explaining Fix the agreement mistake
priority
further
, the first and foremost benefit of spending more on the basic sector is that, it will increase the standard of living of people as better health facilities will be provided by the higher authorities. For example
, during recent
coronavirus ,time police makers spend more on Correct article usage
the recent
development
Correct article usage
the development
on
vaccinations to fight the virus.Change preposition
of
Secondly
, improvement
in roads or trains will help in transporting goods and services from one place to another at a much faster pace and cheaper rates, which Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
further
reduces the inflation rate of the nation. Besides
, another striking benefit of it will improve housing facilities because residents of the country will live in modern apartments and houses.
On the other hand
, the merits of promoting arts and crafts are that it will enhance tourist activities in the country as
an exponential rise in foreign visitors. Change preposition
with
For instance
, Dubai has developed modern architecture like Burj Khalifa the world's largest building or framed shaped
tower and Add a hyphen
framed-shaped
last
not
least the world-famous palm islands as major tourist attractions which Correct word choice
but not
furthermore
, helped in earning more foreign currency. Moreover
, another advantage of it is new job opportunities will be increased as a new industry will boom in the market.
To summarize, as discussed in the aforementioned arguments ,one can conclude that spending by the government is dependent on what the citizens of the state want, moreover
how much funds are available for the
development. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, lawmakers should make policies for expenditure in a more prudent and pragmatic way for the overall
upliftment of the citizens.Submitted by VIP2VERMA on
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task achievement
While you addressed the task effectively and covered various aspects, try to balance your arguments more evenly. Be explicit about why you partially agree, providing equal attention to both sides to make your stance clearer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly lead into the next. More seamless transitions will enhance the overall coherence of your essay. Consider using more linking phrases and transition words.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the main argument and your stance. This helps the reader understand what to expect from the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccination development, which effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more compelling.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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