Some people say that because we can now watch films on our phones, there is no reason to go to the cinema. Others say that films should be seen in a cinema in order to be fully enjoyed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As the number of smartphone applications that allow people to watch movies is increasing, some critics claim that films should be seen in a
cinema
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instead
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of on our phones.
This
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essay will discuss both views and support the arguments with examples
,
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;
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however
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, I strongly agree that films should be watched in a
cinema
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for maximum enjoyment. On the one hand, the indisputable benefit of watching movies on smartphones is convenience.
This
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is because, for individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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are busy with work, they don't necessarily have the luxury of
vising
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visiting
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the cinemas.
For instance
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, applications like "Netflix" allow individuals to watch a movie of their choice
despite
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, despite
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the
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apply
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time and location.
Therefore
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, the convenience
that is
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gained from watching films on a smartphone is definitely a positive upside.
On the other hand
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, taking the time to go to a
cinema
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to watch a movie is a special experience.
This
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is
due to
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the unforgettable memories that people are able to forge with friends and family.
For example
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, visiting the
cinema
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isn't just to watch a film, but
,
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apply
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it's to build special memories accompanied by the ones they love.
Consequently
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, visiting a
cinema
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created an unbreakable bond between friends and family and
allow
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allowed
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for treasurable moments. In conclusion, there are clear
evident
Correct word choice
and evident
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benefits of both watching movies on smartphones and going to a
cinema
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.
Nonetheless
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, I strongly believe that people should visit the
cinemas
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cinema
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to watch a movie.
Above all
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else, watching it with someone you love dearly will make it a special moment.

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task response
Task response: You show both sides and make a clear view. To be stronger, add more depth for each side and add one or two clear facts or examples that support your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a good flow with three parts. Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph and make links from one idea to the next with simple words.
stance
Your position in the end is clear and you state your view.
structure
The essay uses simple paragraphs with a basic plan.
content
You give an example of Netflix to show the idea of ease and move.
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