IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being sellf-employed?

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It is clear that modern
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to work alone, not in groups
such
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 as organization and business.
As a result
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 of
this
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 working trend, a lot of employers have gone through the lack of employees.
This
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 essay indicates the reasons for
this
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 industrial environment and the disadvantages caused by
this
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 change. With the development of the Internet and mobile devices,
people
Use synonyms
 can work at home easily.
Also
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, individuals no longer strive to get into the company, they desire to earn income by being self-employed nowadays ,especially youth workers. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
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 trend is that
people
Use synonyms
 have started to want flexible working hours. Flexible working has lots of merits
such
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 as a human can spend time with their family and friends more often and they can release their stress without restrictions from the company.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have been attracted advantages of being owners on their own.
However
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,
this
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 tendency can cause problems in
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
 aspect. It is unquestionable that being successful self-employed is not easy and there are many cases that individuals who operate
self company
Add a hyphen
self-company
show examples
 have given up
sustain
Wrong verb form
sustaining
show examples
 their work.
Therefore
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,
this
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 trend can make lots of the jobless who fail to make successful self-company and it will induce a lot of consumptions of welfare. It is evident that spending lots of taxes on welfare is not a welcoming activity for the
next
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 generations. In conclusion, more workers have a dream of being self-employed because they can control their own lives flexibly.
On the other hand
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, an increasing number of self-company can induce to have bad impacts on society in terms of wasting excessive country's wealth on welfare.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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