IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

19. Some people think that success is the best measure of intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

#people #success #measure #intelligence
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Some men and women believe that our
intelligence
Use synonyms
is equals
Change the verb form
is equaled
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 our
success
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.
However
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, in my view, we can be estimated in other ways. There are various forms. In fact, in many
Change to a plural noun
cases
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case
Add a comma
,case
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 our
success
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 depends on our
Use synonyms
intelligence's
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intelligence
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 ability.
For instance
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, Elbert
Eishtein
Correct your spelling
Einstein
 was
an
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a
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 smart and wise
person
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.
Therefore
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, his
success
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 was widespread.
Moreover
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, he was rich and successful in
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 fields. If we think widely, we will talk and write senseless. Smart
people
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 can be famous easily and they find quickly their way than others in our modern world.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, all
people
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 are not intelligent but there are successful
people
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 in their insides. Hard work and persistence can make famous each
person
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.
Therefore
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, we have always
have
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had
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 chances to achieve
to
Change preposition
apply
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success
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.
Moreover
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, we need to grow our skills that
helps
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help
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 us to obtain our goal.
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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intelligence
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 can be
measure
Wrong verb form
measured
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 in our income. Earning money sometimes depends on our ability of
brain
Add an article
the brain
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.
Smart
Add an article
A smart
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 earn more and make money
easily
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
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 than others. They always believe
their
Change preposition
in their
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 power of
brain
Add an article
the brain
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. A lot of
people
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 need to be smart and wise. Smart
people
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 are creative and they create many inventions and noticeable changes in our lives. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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intelligence
Use synonyms
 cannot be
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 measure for
success
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. They depend on a lot of factors and
cases
Correct your spelling
causes
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.
However
Linking Words
, we try to be smart. Being
intellectual
Add an article
an intellectual
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 can give
a
Correct pronoun usage
us a
show examples
lot of opportunities to achieve our aims.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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