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Band 2.5

In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs
the graphs give information about the motivations of students of different ages to study and the help they received from their employers in the form of time off and help with fees. The younger individuals (under 26) study mainly for career and only approximately 10% do it for interest.
Nevertheless
,
this
 changes considerably as they
age
 especially after their 40's. At
this
age
 range, the percentages of both reasons to study are the same at around 40%.
However
, the number of students that decides to do it for interests skyrockets on the oldest
age
 group almost reaching
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
70%, while the figure of students interested in
lerning
Correct your spelling
learning
 for their careers drops to less than 20%. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employer support, it starts very high at roughly 65%.
Then
 there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 significant
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 trend that reverses in their 40's when they receive only a 30% of support. After that
age
, the help they receive gradually increases up to a 40%.
Submitted by ignaciogigli on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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