People should look after their health because this is a duty to the society not just a personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often said that considering
health
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is an obligation to society
instead
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of a personal advantage. From my point of view ,I personally agree with
this
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idea. I am going to explain some reasons below.
Firstly
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,one of the main reasons is encouraging human beings to have a healthy
lifestyle
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.
For example
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,in most countries all around the world where people are accepting healthy things ,those who are not interested in having a healthy
lifestyle
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prefer to obey
this
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situation.
This
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could help the community to accept
this
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significant thing.
Moreover
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,
this
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could create a situation of being healthy among all human beings.
Therefore
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,
this
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makes it clear why
this
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can bring some benefits to society rather than personal advantages.
Secondly
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,another conspicuous reason is the impact on countries.
For instance
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,we all know in some countries those who are suffering from some
health
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problems
such
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as obesity are not capable
to conduct
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of conducting
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their work effortlessly.
This
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is a persuasive reason to consider having a healthy
lifestyle
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is significant to the community.
Additionally
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,
to accept
Verb problem
apply
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looking after to
health
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, can bring many upsides to areas where they settling .
As a result
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,it becomes apparent there are numerous causes that can not be ignored. To summarise ,I strongly agree with the idea that having a healthy
lifestyle
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is significant and necessary not just for individuals but
also
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,
this
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is crucial to society. It is recommended that governments and ordinary people start encouraging their residents to look after their
health
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.
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt clearly in your essay. Expand on the reasons why looking after health benefits society as a whole, not just individuals.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on strengthening the introduction and conclusion of your essay. Make sure they clearly introduce and summarize the main points of your argument. Also, use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
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