IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people have argued that there will be no need for art galleries in the future because people can view works of art freely on the internet. Compare and contrast the benefits of viewing art in real life with viewing it on the internet. In your opinion, which is better? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #art #galleries #future #works #internet #contrast #life
DEPENDING ON RECENT TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS, IT IS ARGUED THAT PEOPLE WILL PREFER TO EXPLORE THE WORLD OF
ART
 VIA
INTERNET
Correct article usage
THE INTERNET
show examples
WITH
Change preposition
AT
show examples
 NO CHARGE,
INSTEAD
 OF PHYSICALLY VISITING
ART
 GALLERIES OR MUSEUMS.
FURTHERMORE
, IT IS CLAIMED THAT
ART
 GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS WILL BE UNNECESSARY IN THE FUTURE.
THIS
 ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN WHY I DISAGREE WITH
THIS
 STATEMENT AND WHAT ARE THE REASONS
OF
Change preposition
FOR
show examples
THIS
 DECISION.
FIRST
 OF ALL, MUSEUMS OR GALLERIES ARE NOT JUST BUILDINGS TO DISPLAY SOME IMPORTANT PIECES. THESE BUILDINGS CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FOR PEOPLE TO SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER PEOPLE HAD
SAME
Correct article usage
THE SAME
show examples
 INTERESTS OR EXPERTS
ON
Change preposition
IN
show examples
 THAT FIELD,
MOREOVER
, GIVE HUMAN BEINGS
CHANCE
Correct article usage
A CHANCE
show examples
 TO FEEL THE
ART
 THROUGH THEIR FIVE SENSES.
FOR INSTANCE
, DURING A PHOTOGRAPH
EXHIBITON
Correct your spelling
EXHIBITION
 TOUR, IT CAN BE MET WITH
PHOTOGRAPHER
Correct article usage
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
show examples
 AND
LISTENED
Add the preposition
TOLISTENED
show examples
 THE STORIES BEHIND OF SHOOTS FROM THE
FIRST
MOUTH
Correct your spelling
MONTH
show examples
.
IN ADDITION
, THE PHOTOGRAPHS MAY BE FULLY APPRECIATED, THANKS TO BACKGROUND TUNES OR
ODOR
Correct article usage
THE ODOR
show examples
 OF
ROOM
Correct article usage
THE ROOM
show examples
 IN WHICH ARE CHOSEN BY PHOTOGRAPHERS.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, VISITING HISTORICAL OR ARTISTIC PLACES WITH THE
USING
Replace the word
USE
show examples
 OF
INTERNET
Correct article usage
THE INTERNET
show examples
 CAN ENLARGE THE
AMOUNT
Change the quantifier
NUMBER
show examples
 OF VISITORS DUE TO FREE ENTRANCE AND NO PHYSICAL REPLACEMENT REQUIRED. DESPITE TO THESE ADVANTAGES,
THIS
 ONLINE EXPERIENCE CAN NOT REPLACE WITH BEING IN THE SAME AMBIANCE WITH THE
ART WORKS
Correct your spelling
ARTWORKS
show examples
.
IN ADDITION
 TO LACK OF SENSATION, THERE IS AN INFORMATION POLLUTION ON WEBSITES. TO ILLUSTRATE, AT THE BEGINNING OF ISOLATION, IT WAS FREE TO VISIT LOUVRE MUSEUM ONLINE FOR ONE DAY AND NEEDLESS TO SAY I IMMEDIATELY SUBMITTED
TO
Correct pronoun usage
IT TO
show examples
WEBSITE
Correct article usage
THE WEBSITE
show examples
. BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT IT WAS NOT IMPRESSED ME BECAUSE OF
Correct article usage
THE ABSENT
show examples
ABSENT
Replace the word
ABSENCE
show examples
A
Change preposition
OF A
show examples
TOUR GUIDE, LACK OF SENSATIONS
SUCH
 AS SMELL OR HEARING OF THE ATMOSPHERE. TO CONCLUDE, DESPITE
OF
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
THE EXCLUSIVE OPPORTUNITIES IT PROVIDES, SINCE
ART
 LOVERS WILL CONTINUE TO COME TOGETHER IN BUILDINGS OR PLACES IN THE FUTURE, ONLINE EXPERIENCE WILL NEVER TAKE OVER PHYSICAL TOUR.
Submitted by dt.essrademir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: