People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. What extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a heated debate whether people should care about their well-being for their own
benefits
or for social responsibilities. I believe that both purposes are important and the public should take an interest in both.
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
To begin
with, it makes perfect sense that the community take concern for their energy to benefit them personally. Linking Words
First,
maintaining good well-being allows the nation to perform well in other activities, Linking Words
for example
, playing sports, working, travelling etc. society in bad shape are limited in the range of activities they can do, Linking Words
such
as those suffering from heart diseases are not permitted to ride a roller coaster or those with diabetes are advised against rice consumption. Linking Words
Second,
good fitness allows good appearance. WebMD reveals that the population who have a balanced diet with a lot of vegetables and fruits tend to have a smooth complexion, bright eyes and healthy hair.
Linking Words
However
, one should not disregard the responsibility of taking responsibility for one’s self for society’s Linking Words
overall
wellness. One justifiable reason is that an ill person may be a threat to the bigger population when the disease is highly contagious. Linking Words
In particular
, the outbreak of SARs in 2002 or H5N1 in 2005 started with a few misdiagnosed individuals. Linking Words
Moreover
, unhealthy individuals can be a burden to society and Linking Words
further
hurt the economy. Let’s look at the spread of SARs again. The findings of Korea University and The Australian National University disclose that the total global cost of lost economic activity was 80 million USD.
In short, taking the load of strength is undoubtedly needed for one’s own benefit. Linking Words
Nonetheless
, it Linking Words
also
plays a vital role in ensuring the nation’s well-being, which confirms the social responsibility of each individual in maintaining their fitness.Linking Words
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Pay attention to the organization of your essay and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.