IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples from your own experiences.

#people #art #subjects #music #drama #part #education #school #syllabus #experiences
According to some , people It is true that art
activities
 music , drama and creative books , contains a very important part in the studies . and it is must me consider as a subject in each and every educational institute . I still strongly agree with
this
 point of view because due to
this
students
 can make their minds refreshed. To commence with , The
students
 show their interest in studies when they got their thoughts to relax . To elaborate , when the
students
 start their studying , after some time they became dull and not focused on to it due to
this
 they need some extra circular
activities
 which make them feel relaxed and removes the burden of studying from their heads.
For instance
 , According to a survey which is conducted by CNN News , show the fact and figures about
students
 . In western ,Countries the Educational system is very convenient because they provide everything to
students
 . Their Learning system is so good because they don't put a burden on the
students
 that are why the ratio of success there is more than to over developing countries like India and Pakistan .
Thus
 we should
also
 include these subjects in over syllabus .
Further
 strengthening the view , Due to these
activities
 , if some student does not show their interest in the difficult studies so they can
also
 learn these
activities
such
 as music and creative writing . To explicate it , they can start their carrier in these fields and these are vast fields. you can make your future secure in these lines . In the
last
 I strongly agree on that to add these
activities
 like drama line , movies making and so many things we can have which can add to over syllabuses.
Submitted by ilhanbutt990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: