IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cooperation
It’s true that some people believe that cross-national support is the most effective way to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
emergent issues in certain countries. From my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally agree with
this
 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss the reasons in the following essay. There are some national problems which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 urgent to deal with,
such
 as famine in some undeveloped country. People there are encountered with an extreme scarcity of food, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
widespread malnutrition and death from starving. Most of the reasons
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from inevitable natural weakness,
for instance
, prolonged flooding, drought, extreme cold, insect infestation and plant disease which can’t be
deal
Wrong verb form
dealt
show examples
 with
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 itself.
Hence
, in these cases, governments by no means should ask
international
Change preposition
for international
show examples
 aid from other developed nations which have major economics, conducive to gaining stable and enormous food
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 to distribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 dwellers and solve the hunger problems.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should rely on international cooperation when they face unexpected catastrophes like
Add an article
an earthquake
show examples
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
, tsunamis, and tornado
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
. Those kinds of
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
show examples
 are overwhelming challenges
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 insist on international assistance. What’s more, the Russian invasion of Ukraine
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 currently is
also
 in
count
Add an article
the count
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 political issue
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is too complicated to solve alone. The reconstruction plan for the country is needy
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 international support. In conclusion, in my view, it’s true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international assistance is an effective way
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 dealing with many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
acute problems
instead
 of solving
alone
Correct pronoun usage
them alone
show examples
.
Submitted by sandy011445 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!