IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people choose private health care centers rather than public service centers what is your opinion?

#people #health #care #centers #service
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The health sector plays a pivotal role in the growth of every nation.There are mainly two well-being outset governmental and non-governmental.Some the people like non-governmental well-being centres while others choose governmentally.In my ,opinion private setups are a better choice depending on various factors. Non-government fitness organisations are a better choice,because of the quality of the outset they are able to provide to their customers.
Such
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 as fewer waiting hours,that's why crowds more often choose them,there is less community,
therefore
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, it saves a lot of days for the public.As the public
have
Change the verb form
has
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 much less hour,because of the busy life.It will improve the compliance of patients,as they will be able to follow up on hour with their physician.
Secondly
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,it is more organized,
such
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 as patient to Doctor is low,
therefore
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 it reduces the chance of medical error made by Physician. Whereas others choose the government sector,one of the important reasons is the cost of the beginning as many societies cannot afford heavy costs in the non-public hospitals or clinics. Where in the government well-being care sector,it is very hard for a person to get appointments in
timely
Correct article usage
a timely
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.One of the reasons is the patients outnumber the healthcare workers,
thus
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 can usually result in delays in treatment and routine follow-up is compromised.
Hence
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 the quality of beginning goes down with the number of patients.,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
,Lastly
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 It is difficult to get beds in due to overcrowding so the public
have
Change the verb form
has
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 to wait in the corridors. In conclusion,non-public are better than governmental setup,because of the quality of beginning.
Submitted by drmoiz_lakho on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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