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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#educationalists #child #instrument
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the education of a child. Some educationalists believe that it is pivotal to teach
children
 to perform a musical instrument.
Although
this
 idea might have both pros and cons, I do not regard myself as an advocate of
this
 statement. Without a shadow of a doubt, juveniles can earn a wealth of benefits while learning how to use musical
instruments
, one of which is they might be able to have a firm grasp of their future career path relating to the music industry. Unlike others,
children
 who have a deep understanding of musical tools can win a place
in vocations
Correct your spelling
invocations
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 that are related to the
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
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 industry
such
 as
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
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,
pianist
Fix the agreement mistake
pianists
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 or violinist. Duc Phuc in Vietnam can be cited as an outstanding example on the grounds that in his toddlerhood, he had learnt to use several musical
instruments
 ,and right now, he has become a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 singer.
Therefore
, adolescents who are taught to perform musical
instruments
 can secure themselves a profession associated with the recreational field. While the redeeming feature of
this
 phenomenon is widely acknowledged, its downside should not be untouched. Due to the fact that
by
Change preposition
apply
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learning musical utensils are rather hard and daunting,
children
 may feel under pressure and stressed,
thereafter
 they might encounter a range of mental traumas, which can result in unprecedented consequences.
For instance
, in
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
 there is a number of cases recorded of
children
committed
Wrong verb form
committing
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 suicide because they have to cope with depression while being forced to learn to use a musical utensil.
Hence
, not every adolescent needs to be taught how to play an instrument. In summary,
although
 imparting musical lectures can be significant to a child’s future, we should not teach all juveniles to play musical
instruments
 since it can do harm to their mental health.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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