At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, it is obvious that some countries have a small number of older

people

when

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

compared to the population of young

people

. As nothing is perfect in

this

world,

this

phenomenon has both merits and demerits. In

this

essay, both the pros and cons will be mentioned following by the conclusion.

First

of all, the more young adults, the more development for the country. Since adults are very active, fresh, healthy, creative and

intelligence

Replace the word

intelligent

show examples

, they are more likely to create a better world with advanced technology.

In addition

, they could

also

solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

problems

such

as ozone warming with modern solutions. What is more,

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

advanturous

Correct your spelling

adventurous

and they are not afraid of taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

unlike

Add the comma(s)

,unlike

show examples

the older generation. They made a lot of risky

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and work hard until they get

achievement

Add an article

the achievement

show examples

. There is no doubt that the youth have the energy to do great things for the development of their countries.

On the other hand

, it has some drawbacks.

Although

the younger adults have courage and a lot of skills, they still need to take some ideas from the older

people

. They cannot compete with old

people

exprience

Correct your spelling

experience

. Sometimes, teenagers are very rebellious and they need someone to control them. Older

people

also

take part in the development of the country. All things considered, the bright side of the situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Hence

, it is very important for children to grow up in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right way.

Submitted by tthoon21 on Mon Mar 14 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures.Other argue that these sports can cause problems and increase conflicts between nations. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

In recent years, online shopping has become increasingly popular. Some people think such a shopping method is beneficial, while others believe it creates more problems than it solves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

‎ Some young people leave the countryside to live in cities or towns, leaving only ‎older people in the countryside. What are the problems of this issue? What can ‎be done to solve this problem?‎

The amount of time spent on sport and exercise should be increased in school to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.