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Writing Samples
Band 4

Health experts claim that walking is the best exercise. However, people are walking less on a daily basis. What has made it happen and how to deal with this?

#health #experts #exercise #people #basis
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Walking is without a doubt one of the best
exercise
Change to a plural noun
exercises
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 in today's trend. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the factors that contribute to that made
people
Use synonyms
 are walking less on a daily basis and propose some solutions to them.
Basically
Add a comma
,Basically
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 there are two factors that contribute toward less walking.
First
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to drive
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
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 or
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 rather than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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use public transportation. Lack of public transportation facilities had made
people
Use synonyms
 accustomed to
have
Change the verb form
having
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 private means of
tranportations
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportations
. Since housing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 skyrocketed, Commuting from less expensive housing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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that is
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 become the sole alternative for
people
Use synonyms
.
Second
Linking Words
, there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
sidewalks
Use synonyms
. Living in
crowded
Add an article
a crowded
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 city with traffics should have
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraged
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people
Use synonyms
 to prefer walking since it will be faster. But when the city provided
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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sidewalks
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 would be eager to walk.
This
Linking Words
 lack of facilities
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
 become the norm that walking is a hassle. Despite the reasons given above, there are two ways to encourage
people
Use synonyms
walking
Change the verb form
to walk
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 more.
First
Linking Words
, Provide better means of public transportation that interconnected from rural area to urban area. Changing stations or taking
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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 means that
people
Use synonyms
 will walk more.
Second
Linking Words
, Make
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better sidewalk
better sidewalks
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sidewalks
Use synonyms
 so
people
Use synonyms
 experiences walking is better that
people
Use synonyms
 will have
good
Add an article
a good
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 mindset to prefer walking
than
Change preposition
to
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stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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on
Change preposition
in
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traffic
Correct article usage
a traffic
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 jam. In conclusion, walking is the best
ecercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 if we can make it our daily habit without hassle. We could focus on public
tranportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 more and have better
sidewalks
Use synonyms
 to provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 experience.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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