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Writing Samples
Band 5

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

In the modern world, despite the availability of numerous
health
Use synonyms
 facilities for exercising, individuals still prefer to live a dormant lifestyle. Throughout
this
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 essay, I will discuss the problems associated with
such
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 behaviour and suggest possible solutions for the same.
Firstly
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, in today's
time
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, rather than spending
time
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 outdoors in a gymnasium for physical activity,
people
Use synonyms
 are glued to their gadgets. With the advent of technology and a hectic lifestyle, a major part of the population
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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 their
time
Use synonyms
 browsing the internet or watching movies,
while
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 munching away on snacks. The rise in gyms has been eclipsed by the increased usage of technology.
Consequently
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,
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of body movement, the present generation is more prone to Obesity and other
health
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 diseases, stemming from being overweight
such
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 as type 1 Diabetes . One solution to the problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 could be quantifying the amount of
time
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 that a
person
Use synonyms
 spends on the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
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 and dedicating a stipulated period of
time
Use synonyms
 for exercise.
As a result
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,
people
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 will lead a balanced and healthier life. Another problem with a stagnant way of living is that it affects a
person
Use synonyms
's mental
health
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 . When a
person
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 exercises it leads to the release of certain hormones
such
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 as endorphins, which is the contributing factor
for
Change preposition
to
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 making a
person
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 happy.In the absence of any physical exertion, the blood flow to the brain is constricted and since blood is
also
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 the major carrier of oxygen, the brain cells lack adequate oxygen to be active.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 less activity of the brain, work productivity is
also
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 hindered. One solution to the problem could be employers making it mandatory for the employees to spend a dedicated amount of
time
Use synonyms
 in some form of exercise and having a healthcare facility within the office
premise
Fix the agreement mistake
premises
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.
Hence
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,
people
Use synonyms
 will be more instigated to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
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due to
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 it being a part of their work and commuting
time
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 to a gym will
also
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 be reduced, allowing for the optimal utilisation of
time
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. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
a
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sedentary life is not only the cause of
health
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 issues but
also
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 affects mental wellness. It is not only up to the individual to make an effort to dedicate a certain amount of
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 being mobile but
also
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 the responsibility of the
people
Use synonyms
 in his workspace to ensure he gets
time
Use synonyms
 to spend on his
health
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.

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task response
Ensure that all the main points are directly related to the topic of sedentary lifestyle and its problems and solutions. Avoid going off-topic or including irrelevant details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the main points. However, ensure that the main body paragraphs are logical and well-organized for better coherence.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physical inactivity
  • health problems
  • weight gain
  • obesity
  • energy levels
  • chronic illnesses
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • focus
  • social isolation
  • exercise
  • physical fitness
  • active lifestyle
  • health benefits
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • leisure activities
  • regular physical activity
  • physical exercise
  • cardiovascular health
  • strength training
  • flexibility
  • endurance
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