More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#parents #children #computers #tablets #technology #skills #development

It is generally acknowledged that youngsters tend to increasingly use electronic devices

such

computers

and tablets in

this

contemporary society as their parents permit

this

trend in order to increase

children

's technological ability. Regarding

this

, I strongly believe that the benefit of

this

trend

overwhelm

Change the verb form

overwhelms

show examples

the drawback. On the one hand, some populations

Add a missing verb

are concern

show examples

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

that using PC for an excessive amount of time by

children

decreases social interaction, thereby leading to disruption of growth. Since a significant number of kids focus on the tiny screen all day, they do not communicate and play with peers in person. What is more,

sedentery

Correct your spelling

sedentary

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

with laptops interfere with growth

Change the punctuation

show examples

For example

, recent media reports that almost 10% of young

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

have a tendency that their heights and weights are smaller than other ones. As the example clearly illustrates, consumption of too much time on

computers

disrupts

children

be grow

Change the verb form

grow

show examples

adaquately

Correct your spelling

adequately

On the other hand

, learning about technology plays a key factor in adaption in

this

fast

faced

Correct your spelling

paced

show examples

world. Not only can gaining technological skill be helpful for studying remotely in foreign countries, but it may

also

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

chances to experience various content indirectly through the Internet.

For instance

, a survey conducted by the Korea Educational Foundation has revealed that pupils who have owned

computers

Change preposition

show examples

an early age become more knowledgeable than other mates.

Therefore

, it is reasonable to point out that they can have more chances to adapt

Change preposition

to in

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

society than others who do not have used

computers

. In conclusion, while I accept that

children

who use electronic apparatus too much can sometimes be antisocial, thereby leading to a delay of growth, there is no doubt to point out that the advantage is way higher than the disadvantage.

However

, I recommend that when

children

use items

such

as tablets, they need to be monitored by

guardiances

Correct your spelling

guardians

Submitted by hiasince38 on Mon Mar 14 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You travelled by plane last week and your suitcase was lost. You have still heard nothing from the airline Company, write to the airline and explain what happened. Describe your bag and tell them what was in it and what they were going to do about it?