IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summaries #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates the sources of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and France in the years 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
units
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 by coal was significant in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in both years and increase dramatically over the period, rising from 100
units
Use synonyms
 to 170 in
Australia
Use synonyms
, and from 90 to 180
units
Use synonyms
 in France. Apparently,in
Australia
Use synonyms
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
show examples
, the use of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced from coal was 50
units
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural gas hydropower each produced 20
units
Use synonyms
 and oil which was only 10
units
Use synonyms
. It is apparent that by 2000, coal had increased significantly by 130
units
Use synonyms
 and hydropower will be increased to 36
units
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, France used coal and natural gas which only produced a quarter of
Use synonyms
units
Correct article usage
the units
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 1980
whereas
Linking Words
 oil was one-fifth of
Use synonyms
units
Correct article usage
the units
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear power was only 15
units
Use synonyms
 and hydropower was 5
units
Use synonyms
. But by 2000 nuclear power, which increased dramality to 126
units
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 coal and oil together produced only half of
Use synonyms
units
Add an article
the units
show examples
 and other sources were not significant.
Submitted by gorgeousnf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: