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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Life
 always brings something unexpected to surprise us. Sometimes we go through some bad circumstances
such
 as money problems or dissatisfaction at work, so some people say that we should patiently bear
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
situations
, whereas others believe that we should work hard to achieve better in
life
. In
this
 essay, both perspectives will be discussed,
however
, I support the latter viewpoint.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 people accept bad times because they believe that these
situations
 are destined to happen and cannot be prevented at any cost, so it is better to have patience, and we should be grateful for what we have already.
Moreover
. Sometimes we have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an unsatisfactory
job
 due to
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of money because we do not have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 opportunities at the moment. To exemplify, I would share my own experience, once I had to do a
job
 as a cleaner in a hotel, even I didn't like it, because I had to pay my college fee, and I did not have any other
job
 at that moment.
On the other hand
, people argue that we should always believe in ourselves and struggle hard to make our
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 better
instead
 of surrendering to fate. Worse circumstances,
such
 as financial downfall, or doing an unsatisfactory
job
 are a part of
life
, but we should stand tall and cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with these
situations
. To add more, always look for better opportunities and grasp
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when found. Summing up. It is irrefutable that
life
 is full of hardships and we always face tough times, but surrendering to difficult
situations
 is never an option,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 we should be brave and do hard work to do well in
life
.
Submitted by Husnain Iqbal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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