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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think that is fully justified while other thing that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #profession
It is the fact is that the famous athletes can gain higher pay compared to other fields of
people
.
Moreover
, It is argued by some
people
, it is correct ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 others think it is fully unfair. I believe that it is unfair for other important professions of
people
. And I will discuss both sides of the argument in
this
 essay. On the one hand, Those who believe that famous gameplay gains a huge of money because they represent the country of all over the world as well as make us proud of all the
people
 of nations.
In addition
, they create a world record of the country.
Furthermore
, they can follow a hard diet and spend more than
time
 for practice. So it is totally fair to earn a great more amount than Other fields
people
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that it is wrong with other stream
people
.
Firstly
, Other important field workers spend more
time
 than sportspeople.
For instance
, scientists can make formulas, medicines, new technology and so on. for all
this
, they spend more
time
 in their life.
Secondly
, sometimes military employees lost their lives for the country and for nations
people
, But they could not be famous and not gain a high salary.
Thirdly
, It is unfair to other field employees because they
also
 do hard work and give
time
 to society and the nation. In conclusion, a Successful sports person can deserve more money than other fields
people
 it is fair for them while others think that it is unjustified to other professionals. I feel that it is unfair of other streams professionals.
Submitted by Drashti satani on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • income disparity
  • market dynamics
  • career longevity
  • revenue streams
  • role model
  • economic impact
  • societal values
  • undervaluation
  • compensation package
  • financial prioritization
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