IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. (To what extent do you agree or disagree?)

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
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People
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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these days are decreasingly the outmoded, as
honor
Change the spelling
honour
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, kindness and trust.
However
Linking Words
, the crucial for them is
Use synonyms
care
Fix the infinitive
to care
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 about status and belongings. At
present
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,present
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 the gain for
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in a community that they just
criticizing
Wrong verb form
criticise
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 the important is not the old-fashioned values, but the reputation and relations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 importance of
have
Change the verb form
having
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 a good social status for the public
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
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 in peace without discernment. The crucial to
live
Change the verb form
living
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 now is the reputation and relation for
people
Use synonyms
 do not
ne
Correct your spelling
be
need
criticized
Change the verb form
criticize
show examples
 by the
society
Use synonyms
 and outmoded begin to not be that important anymore.
Hence
Linking Words
, as we have an easy way to communicate and access everything that we want contributes for the factor that improving ourselves in
this
Linking Words
society
Use synonyms
 to looks like something that we are not, due to is we can reflect that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity did not
care
Use synonyms
 about the technology world that much, since the social media’s, we will give more importance for the good gestures that they used to do it. Indeed,
in
Change preposition
apply
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these days we can see
people
Use synonyms
 that you know who has a simple life,
however
Linking Words
 in the social media’s looks like
millionaire
Add an article
a millionaire
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. Just to say that they have it. These few instances, show how empowered you are, is more important
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 your attitudes, for the reason that as I mentioned before has
people
Use synonyms
 with
simple
Add an article
the simple
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 life
that is
Linking Words
rude
Add an article
a rude
the rude
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 and terrible attitude, just because in their Instagram, Facebook and so on, looks like a fortunate one.
This
Linking Words
 essay argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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instead
Linking Words
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity
Replace the word
humans
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 think about the important values,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 honour, trust and kindness. They prefer
Use synonyms
care
Fix the infinitive
to care
show examples
 more about how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
Change the verb form
sees
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see
Correct pronoun usage
themsee
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, even though, you come
to
Change preposition
from
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 a simple family, you still want to impress
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
 just to do not be judged and try to show more
as
Replace the word
like
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 a rich one. In my point of view, I believe if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media did not make
people
Use synonyms
 addicted to it, our community of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 will be much better, as we can be who we are without
Use synonyms
care
Wrong verb form
caring
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 about likes or criticism or what
people
Use synonyms
 will say.
Submitted by sabrina.kimura on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: