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Writing Samples /
Band 4

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. (To what extent do you agree or disagree?)

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
People
in
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apply
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these days are decreasingly the outmoded, as
honor
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honour
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, kindness and trust.
However
, the crucial for them is
care
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to care
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 about status and belongings. At
present
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,present
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 the gain for
live
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living
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 in a community that they just
criticizing
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criticise
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 the important is not the old-fashioned values, but the reputation and relations.
This
 essay will argue
that
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the
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 importance of
have
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having
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 a good social status for the public
live
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to live
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 in peace without discernment. The crucial to
live
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living
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 now is the reputation and relation for
people
 do not
ne
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be
need
criticized
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criticize
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 by the
society
 and outmoded begin to not be that important anymore.
Hence
, as we have an easy way to communicate and access everything that we want contributes for the factor that improving ourselves in
this
society
 to looks like something that we are not, due to is we can reflect that if
the
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apply
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humanity did not
care
 about the technology world that much, since the social media’s, we will give more importance for the good gestures that they used to do it. Indeed,
in
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apply
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these days we can see
people
 that you know who has a simple life,
however
 in the social media’s looks like
millionaire
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a millionaire
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. Just to say that they have it. These few instances, show how empowered you are, is more important
that
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than
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 your attitudes, for the reason that as I mentioned before has
people
 with
simple
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the simple
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 life
that is
rude
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a rude
the rude
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 and terrible attitude, just because in their Instagram, Facebook and so on, looks like a fortunate one.
This
 essay argued that
,
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apply
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instead
 of
the
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apply
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humanity
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humans
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 think about the important values,
such
 as
,
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apply
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 honour, trust and kindness. They prefer
care
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to care
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 more about how
the
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apply
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society
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sees
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see
Correct pronoun usage
themsee
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, even though, you come
to
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from
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 a simple family, you still want to impress
the
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apply
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society
 just to do not be judged and try to show more
as
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like
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 a rich one. In my point of view, I believe if
the
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apply
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social media did not make
people
 addicted to it, our community of
live
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life
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 will be much better, as we can be who we are without
care
Wrong verb form
caring
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 about likes or criticism or what
people
 will say.
Submitted by sabrina.kimura on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: