In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

#areas #cities #people #houses #night #time #fear #crime

Quality of life is significantly dependent on where you live. Regarding a couple of

neighbourhood

Fix the agreement mistake

neighbourhoods

show examples

in a big city, people are scared to go out in the dark due to crime rates and

this

essay will discuss the causes of

this

situation and suggest ideas for the solution. Nothing

cannot

Rewrite the sentence

can

show examples

be an excuse to perform a crime for sure but if a person

execute

Change the verb form

executes

show examples

any kind of criminal activity, we must question their motivation or reason.

First

of all, fairly poorer areas in big cities cannot offer plenty of

job

opportunities for habitants

therefore

unemployment might lead

a habitants

Correct the article-noun agreement

habitants

an habitant

show examples

desperately perform any kind of small crimes

such

as burglary or snatching.

In addition

to that, underdeveloped areas surely can not serve a well organized educational system to children of their residents. Without getting a proper and decent education, no one would expect students to build up a nice future with a well-paid

job

. Not even getting a

job

, these students wouldn'

learn how to behave in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right manner within a society. There are many things

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be done in order to decrease the criminal incidents in a certain

neigborhood

Correct your spelling

neighbourhood

First

Add an article

The first

A first

show examples

and most important thing to be done is to increase the

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

standards of the residents. To do so, the government must take responsibility and make investments to create new

job

opportunities in the area, so that criminals would not stay unemployed

thus

being broke and desperate won'

be an excuse for them.

Secondly

, education must be improved in the area.

This

can be performed by establishing new and modern schools and filling those schools with teachers who are good in different fields. So that students wouldn'

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

any knowledge compared to their peers and they can progress and build up a future for themselves in the area of their desire. In conclusion, criminal occasions won'

stop in a poor neighbourhood if the residents can get equal educational of financial support like

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the city. Government must step up and take responsibility in terms of funding these

neighborhood

Fix the agreement mistake

neighborhoods

show examples

about these fields.

Submitted by huseyinemrecan38 on Tue Mar 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to it. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?