IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The main purpose of the diagrams is to provide information about how to make frozen fish pies. It takes several steps to go from delivering the main ingredients by
trucks
Fix the agreement mistake
truck
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 to a product of frozen fish pie.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagrams, the main ingredients consist of fresh salmon, peas, sauce and
potatoes
Use synonyms
. The yam
are
Change the verb form
is
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 prepared separately from others. The first step of
Use synonyms
potatoes
Correct article usage
the potatoes
show examples
 is cleaning,
then
Linking Words
 the
potatoes
Use synonyms
 are peeled and cut into the slice.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, they are cooked with boiling and before using, they are
cooling
Wrong verb form
cooled
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. Meanwhile, on the other side of the manufacturing process,
firstly
Linking Words
, the fresh salmons are brined with lemon juice and salt for at most 12 hours before it goes cooking in a steam oven.
Then
Linking Words
, skins and bones are removed by hand and disposed of, and the salmons are visually inspected before continuing
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
next
Linking Words
 step.
The
Linking Words
next
Linking Words
 step is the assembled all prepared ingredients. Prepared peas and sauce are combined with the salmons in a microwaveable container
then
Linking Words
, it is covered with a layer of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooked
potatoes
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 container is wrapped and frozen. At
this
Linking Words
 point, they are ready for dispatch or they are maybe stored at the factory before being dispatched.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words potatoes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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