IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write 250 words.

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Nowadays, we enjoy the era of the
internet
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 all around the world get the benefit from it, not only
in
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on
show examples
personal
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a personal
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 level but
also
Linking Words
 in a wider scope as a citizen or even as a country. Like the principle of yin and yang, everything has a good and bad side, and
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 relevant to the
internet
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.
Besides
Linking Words
 its potential, some
people
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 think it can do harm to
human
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a human
the human
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being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, and the threats are bigger than ever. In
this
Linking Words
 case, I am in a position where I fully support the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of the
internet
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, so I strongly disagree with the
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
 that we have to minimize the development of the
internet
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. The essay below elaborates the reason why, mainly from the economic and cultural aspects. We are all already experienced the beneficial effect of the
internet
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. Because of
this
Linking Words
 invention, the market transaction can be done in greater scope.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can sell anything, anywhere and anytime in the online shop, so as a seller, they can reach more potential buyers.
Although
Linking Words
 the risk is always there, like black markets or personal information stealing
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 I think it's is something we can tackle.
Its
Correct your spelling
It's
show examples
 common sense if
people
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 see
this
Linking Words
 as a drawback, but if we focus on the negative side, we will be missed
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of opportunities. Another benefit is in
cultural
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the cultural
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 aspect, by the invention of
this
Linking Words
 technology, we can socialize
borderlessly
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borderless
, like interacting with
people
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 from another country. By
this
Linking Words
, we can learn
culture
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 from someone that has
different
Add an article
a different
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 background,
in
Linking Words
addition
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,addition
show examples
 we can
also
Linking Words
 promote our
culture
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.
For example
Linking Words
 , the Korean Pop lifestyle, back
then
Linking Words
 we have little exposure
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
, but because of Youtube or another online platform, we can consume
the
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apply
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movies and songs from Korea.
In
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On
show examples
 the other hand, we can
also
Linking Words
 promote our
culture
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 if we want, so they can get informed
with
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about
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 our beautiful country. But, some said that too much exposure to another
culture
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 can decrease our sense of belonging to
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
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culture
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, but I think
this
Linking Words
 idea is too pessimistic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because nowadays
people
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 are more
openminded
Correct your spelling
open-minded
show examples
. So, In
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
 aspect, I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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is always win
Change the verb form
always wins
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 the good side. Based on
these explanation
Change the determiner
this explanation
these explanations
show examples
, I am still and always support the development of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 its have inherent risk
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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the
ooportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 we have is open wide if we can utilize
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 wisely, primarily because
Change preposition
of its
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 benefit to our economy and
culture
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. I think we will
regrets
Wrong verb form
regret
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 so much if we
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 support the
internet
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 era.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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