Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some
people
believed that these entertainments are not useful and the government should spend
money
on public services
instead
. I disagree with
this
view and think that entertainments are very important . In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail. Nowadays, It is undeniable that
arts
,
music
and theatre have become
a powerful industries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a powerful industry
powerful industries
show examples
. Most of the countries have been invested more funds to improve their
entertainment
such
as South Korea , China, and Japan.These three countries have been developing their
entertainment
for almost 10 years,not only spending
money
to support but
also
making policies to help in
this
industry. It is apparent that the
entertainment
industry has improved number of GDP and GNP which means it is very important in terms of economics.
In addition
,
entertainment
has many benefits for
people
.
To begin
with the
first
benefit, It can make
people
feel better and relax from their stress.
Furthermore
,
entertainment
is very useful in medical terms.
In other words
,most researchers claimed that
music
and
arts
can help
people
with depressive episodes and bipolar disorder to get a good effect.
Moreover
,
arts
,
music
,and theatre can
also
be a career for some
people
to make
money
and can live with expensive living costs in
this
country. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly disagree with the idea that spending on
arts
,
music
,and theatre is a waste of
money
because these things are very important for
people
's lives and have many benefits in every term
such
as economic.
Submitted by namhon11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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