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Band 6

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
Some
people
 believed that these entertainments are not useful and the government should spend
money
 on public services
instead
. I disagree with
this
 view and think that entertainments are very important . In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail. Nowadays, It is undeniable that
arts
,
music
 and theatre have become
a powerful industries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a powerful industry
powerful industries
show examples
. Most of the countries have been invested more funds to improve their
entertainment
such
 as South Korea , China, and Japan.These three countries have been developing their
entertainment
 for almost 10 years,not only spending
money
 to support but
also
 making policies to help in
this
 industry. It is apparent that the
entertainment
 industry has improved number of GDP and GNP which means it is very important in terms of economics.
In addition
,
entertainment
 has many benefits for
people
.
To begin
 with the
first
 benefit, It can make
people
 feel better and relax from their stress.
Furthermore
,
entertainment
 is very useful in medical terms.
In other words
,most researchers claimed that
music
 and
arts
 can help
people
 with depressive episodes and bipolar disorder to get a good effect.
Moreover
,
arts
,
music
 ,and theatre can
also
 be a career for some
people
 to make
money
 and can live with expensive living costs in
this
 country. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly disagree with the idea that spending on
arts
,
music
 ,and theatre is a waste of
money
 because these things are very important for
people
's lives and have many benefits in every term
such
 as economic.
Submitted by namhon11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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