IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Rich countries should not give jobs to the skilled ( for example doctors and engineers) of poor countries as they are needed by their home country more than the rich countries. How far did you agree or disagree with the statement given?

#countries #jobs #doctors #engineers #home #country
Migration of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skilled workers to
developed
Add an article
the developed
a developed
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 is not a new phenomenon.
Such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 is dramatically rising in the
last
 few decades.
This
 may prove to be advantageous for the wealthy nations but developing
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
 suffer a major loss to their economy.
To begin
 with, the rich countries earn immense profits by hiring skilled foreign nationals. Companies can hire them on lower wages compared to the native people, which helps an organization to achieve great turnover.
For instance
, the United States economy is totally dependent on immigration. Due to the scarcity of local talents in the market,
such
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 appoint employees from developing countries.
Such
 practice not only
bolster
Change the verb form
bolsters
show examples
 their economy but reinforce the overall business of the private companies located there.
On the other hand
,
this
 situation is indeed harmful to the underdeveloped tribe because they spend lots of money in educating and training professionals and when the time comes to serve their motherland, they migrate to the developed land.
This
 process is called brain drain and it is apparent in the developing tribe.
For example
, the Indian government facilitated high-class institutions for young people to gain knowledge in the engineering and medical field but they prefer to move abroad after completion of their studies. All in all, the demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skilled workers is substantially increasing. I feel they are more needed by
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
home land
Correct your spelling
homeland
show examples
 because they should pay back to their motherland by living there and serving their community.
Submitted by nitin.bagga87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: