IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

#people #music #cultures #ages
I believe that
music
 is the paramount art that manipulates the emotion of humans. I completely agree with the notion that
music
 is a fabulous way to gather
people
 from a diverse range of
cultures
 and ages. Discussing the open concerts and rich patriotic songs will justify my opinion. Generally, art like playing instruments could be found in almost all
cultures
 of
people
.
Music
 could influence many to make unity in diversity. Open rock/pop concerts can bring gatherings from different
cultures
 all over the world.
For instance
, a lot of musical gatherings have been organised for the welfare of the needy who are suffering from famine and poverty for which
music
 as a medium helps to spread awareness and gets contributions.
Also
, patriotic songs could unite citizens who are from different age groups from teenagers to elders. The best example is the national anthem of India where
people
 of a wide range of
cultures
, races and ages express their respect towards their country in unity. To summarise, I completely agree with the notion that
music
 can unite a global range of
people
 from various
cultures
 and ages.
Submitted by rinoldev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: