Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The effects of commercials have remained a highly contentious subject among citizens in recent years.
While
some believe advertising does a great job
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
influencing
people
to purchase their products, others claim that it is too repetitive and has become a nuisance for everyone. In my opinion, both views have a valid point and I will discuss them in
this
essay. On the one hand, it is true that a large number of
people
have been influenced by advertisements in several ways. First of all, some companies often hire celebrities to promote their products on social media. In a way, it helps the product to become more widespread
as well as
makes it more
legit
Correct word choice
legitimate
show examples
and trustworthy.
Moreover
, using new and refreshing concepts to advertise is
also
a good idea to convince
people
to buy.
For instance
, some commercials have catchy songs or stunning visuals to impress viewers and make them remember the products more vividly.
On the other hand
, we have been bombarded by advertisements for too long
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
we started to have a negative attitude toward them. They appear everywhere, from street billboards to social media websites and
as a result
,
people
do not pay attention to them anymore.
Thus
, more and more promotion videos use too much exaggeration that citizens no longer have faith in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Take mobile games as a typical example,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
advertisements show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gameplay that does not reflect the truth
,
Correct word choice
and, therefore
show examples
therefore
ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
up becoming hated by everyone.
To conclude
, there is no doubt that commercials can be successful in some ways,
although
it has become
too
Rephrase
so
show examples
common that
people
started to feel annoyed by them. Personally,
due to
the prior explanation, I believe both views are acceptable.
Submitted by lkhoa0696 on

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task response
In your introduction, make sure to directly address the task, which is discussing both views on advertising and giving your opinion. Ensure that each body paragraph clearly presents one view and supports it with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, work on improving the logical flow between your ideas to enhance coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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