Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The effects of commercials have remained a highly contentious subject among citizens in recent years.

While

some believe advertising does a great job

Change preposition

show examples

influencing

people

to purchase their products, others claim that it is too repetitive and has become a nuisance for everyone. In my opinion, both views have a valid point and I will discuss them in

this

essay. On the one hand, it is true that a large number of

people

have been influenced by advertisements in several ways. First of all, some companies often hire celebrities to promote their products on social media. In a way, it helps the product to become more widespread

as well as

makes it more

legit

Correct word choice

legitimate

show examples

and trustworthy.

Moreover

, using new and refreshing concepts to advertise is

also

a good idea to convince

people

to buy.

For instance

, some commercials have catchy songs or stunning visuals to impress viewers and make them remember the products more vividly.

On the other hand

, we have been bombarded by advertisements for too long

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

we started to have a negative attitude toward them. They appear everywhere, from street billboards to social media websites and

as a result

people

do not pay attention to them anymore.

Thus

, more and more promotion videos use too much exaggeration that citizens no longer have faith in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Take mobile games as a typical example,

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

advertisements show

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gameplay that does not reflect the truth

Correct word choice

and, therefore

show examples

therefore

ended

Wrong verb form

end

show examples

up becoming hated by everyone.

To conclude

, there is no doubt that commercials can be successful in some ways,

although

it has become

too

Rephrase

show examples

common that

people

started to feel annoyed by them. Personally,

due to

the prior explanation, I believe both views are acceptable.

Submitted by lkhoa0696 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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task response

In your introduction, make sure to directly address the task, which is discussing both views on advertising and giving your opinion. Ensure that each body paragraph clearly presents one view and supports it with relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, work on improving the logical flow between your ideas to enhance coherence.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.