Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Even though there is a popular agreement that
technology
has made kids less creative than they were in the past, I have a different opinion. I definitely agree with
this
. I feel
this
way for two reasons, which I will explore
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the following essay.
To begin
with, nowadays, In
this
modern life,
technology
is a part of people's lives which helps people to have comfortable lives. A lot of populations
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a variety of ages use the benefits of
technology
in many ways. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. About 10 years ago, while I was a kid. I watched the television program that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a competition of kids about
technology
. Some of them showed the audience how to use the
technology
for helping the animal sleep. The
winner
Replace the word
winning
show examples
team was a group of students in high school. They built a robot
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
was able to serve food for
Add an article
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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.
This
was very interesting and creative
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how come they brainstorm their idea. If I was a kid, I would
created
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create
show examples
a personal robot to clean my house.
As a result
,
technology
is helping
children
to grow smarter and it has a positive impact on people's interpersonal skills. Another obvious reason
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
are smarter than we think.
Children
are using
technology
in order to get their homework done without going to the library like my generation. During
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
, a number of schools started taking classes at home so that the
children
do not need to commute to school plus they are able to avoid traffic in the morning. A number of kids are able to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the zoom class by themself.
For instance
, when I was a babysitter, I had to take care of 8 years old
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had classes during the day. When a class was coming, he was able to access the system by himself without asking
any
Change preposition
for any
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helps from me. If I was a kid, I would
asked
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ask
be asked
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my parents so many questions until I can access the classroom.
As a result
,
technology
is not making the
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
grow maturer, It
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
directly related to brilliant decisions makers. In conclusion, for all the reasons stated above, I encourage all
children
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
the benefits of
technology
to create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
enormous project. If they do
this
,
then
they will discover for themselves that
technology
has a countless number of
technology
benefits.
Submitted by mafrey_playgirl on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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