IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

planting trees is very important for the environment .some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns while other believes housing facilities should be built instead do you agree or disagree?

#trees #environment #people #area #cities #towns #facilities
As environmental protection is a significant concern in
this
 modern world,it is considered by some that planting
trees
 in the open places of
cities
 and towns is useful.
However
 ,others believe
think
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that these areas should be used for constructing housing complexes.In my opinion,
trees
 ought to be planted in vacant places because it hugely helps in reducing air pollution and makes the
cities
 visually beautiful.
This
 essay explains the reasons for my opinion. By making the open spaces of
cities
 into green lands,a good step in protecting nature can be taken.That means ,
trees
 and plants play a great role in purifying the air by producing oxygen and absorbing carbon dioxide and
also
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 in controlling water levels in the earth and atmosphere.
For example
,studies show that
rainfalls
Fix the agreement mistake
rainfall
show examples
 noticeably decreased in the countries where deforestation is prevalent at higher rates.
Therefore
, more amount of
gree
Correct your spelling
green
show examples
 pastures in a city means a more balanced environment that really enhances human lives in the
cities
. Another reason that supports my view is that green areas often
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 the beauty of an area.usually,most
cities
 and towns are congested with concrete buildings and lives there will be
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
monotonous and boring.
That is
 the reason why people from metropolitan
cities
 tend to opt for villages On holidays.
Hence
,the greeneries in towns will enhance the mental
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of the residents.
To conclude
, planting
trees
 in the open places of
cities
instead
 of constructing buildings is a good idea because it is beneficial for maintaining environmental health
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
adds beauty to a city which will be helpful for the inmates to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
relaxed
Replace the word
relax
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
further
 contractions only increase the environmental contamination rates.
Submitted by nicymathew91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, the examples and arguments presented are not fully developed, leading to a lack of comprehensiveness and relevance to the task. More specific and detailed examples should be provided to support the main points and strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting points within the body paragraphs lack cohesion and fluency, resulting in a somewhat disjointed presentation of ideas. Better use of linking words and transition phrases can improve the overall coherence of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: