Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by some individuals who consider advertising is become successful
to attract
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in attracting
show examples
customers towards their businesses whilst others argue that it is so facile and common these days and should not pay attention to it.
Therefore
,
this
essay will discuss both views and I will give my opinion with reasons and examples in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the former view that pupils consider advertising is much imperative to attract
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of customers because it helps to gain profit. To elaborate, by showing the ads on digital platforms
such
as
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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, Instagram and Facebook, companies can grow their businesses because it paves the way to gain high earnings and the public can easily get their brands through advertisements.
For example
, a famous businessperson, Mukesh Ambani said that 30% of his income
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on advertising the products.
Hence
, it helps them to achieve their annual profit targets. Moving
further
to the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some dwellers believe that we should not need to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention to
the
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apply
show examples
advertisements because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can halt their way of life. To explicate, it has several detrimental effects on human beings
like
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apply
show examples
students have innocent minds and they get easily distracted from their paths when something shows unreliable in front of their eyes and they take too much time to
make
Verb problem
apply
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focus again on the same topic.
Additionally
, it is not
enormous
Rephrase
only enormous
show examples
for students but
also
creates some health disorders
to
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for
show examples
workers by
making
Verb problem
putting
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pressurize on them
while
working.
For instance
, a survey report
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by the
tribune
Capitalize word
Tribune
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, 20% of people lost their memories because of violence in advertisements.
Consequently
, showing products through ads can be dangerous sometimes for the globe. In conclusion, every people have different views
according to
the advertisement. In my perspective, I reckon that companies should advertise their products
in
Change preposition
at
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limit
Correct article usage
a limit
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which
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
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them
to create
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in creating
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness among their citizens.
Submitted by ankeshsaini100 on

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task response
Your essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, which is good. Make sure to stay focused on the task and clearly present arguments for both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion. Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly and ensuring a logical flow between paragraphs.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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