IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that university education should focus on the skills of employment for the future. Others think it should focus on academic study only. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #focus #skills #employment #future #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that universities should concentrate on
students
' academic teaching only whereas others assert that the college should provide the condition which can foster undergraduate's vocational skills. Personally,
students
' capacity for employment should be nurtured on campus with no doubt. Two main reasons can support why education which focuses on careers is indispensable for teenagers.
Firstly
, it is the existence of these kinds of courses
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 a role of vital importance to
students
' career lives afterwards.
For example
, they can benefit a lot from being taught how to start and pause communication with colleagues when they are aiming at some goals, which may influence their working experiences a lot. These similar skills rarely appeared in textbooks.
Secondly
, vocational cultivation can
also
 exploit candidates' potential which academic education cannot achieve easily.
Although
 the youth can be simulated by the competition of daily courses, they may tend to be misguided by the academic information without integrating the real situation that emerging in companies.
On the other hand
, I have to agree that schooling for theoretical knowledge is an indispensable duty for a university, after all, it is really decisive because academic performance will be considered when the enterprises are deciding if a student can be recruited.
However
, having a wide range of reserve of information is not enough once someone is willing to be a competitive candidate after graduating from their mather school. Only when they have received overall training for being a
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 staff like some practice of making a schedule for a tough target and
also
 striking a balance between being independent or being cooperative, can they have a better performance in their positions. In conclusion, even though academic study allows college
students
 have a solid foundation of professional knowledge, focusing on fostering skills of employment cannot be cancelled from
students
' college lives.
Submitted by bjwj1618200 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: