IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however,believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Numerous people will exert a profound impact on
children
's future life. Some people hold a belief that parents will be placing a more crucial role in
children
’s moral education.
However
, others think that it is the responsibility of the school. Before offering my own opinion, I intend to analyze these two views in
this
 essay. It must be admitted that parents’ moral education to their
children
 is indispensable. A good parent should help
children
 to know what is important in life, what role they will play in their world, and how they are expected to behave. In
this
 sense, since childhood, parents are the people who know their
children
 best. By standardizing
children
’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, they can
established
Change the verb form
establish
show examples
 a correct view of life and help them become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of society.
However
, it is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the majority of
children
's time is spent at school that more opportunities can be provided for promoting
children
's development，especially in terms of morality and social development. To be more precise, students can better socialize with their classmates，developing various skills，
such
 as cooperation，
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of independence and so on. Meanwhile，teachers may arrange more activities for students in their spare time，like volunteer activities，knowledge competition，which contributes to strengthening students' ideological and moral quality. Overall, in my opinion, family and school education are equally important for
children
 to become a good social
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
Therefore
, both schools and families should help the younger generation become active and capable members of society.
Submitted by 1034135964 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: