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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays,
money
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 has become one of the most important parts of
people
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’s lives. Some
people
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 think that saving
money
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 is necessary for everyone, including young
people
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because savings bring independence, provide security, and support
future
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 goals. First of all, saving
money
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 is important for independence. Young
people
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 who save do not need to ask their parents for help every time they want to buy something.
This
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 makes them more confident and responsible.
For example
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, a teenager who saves part of their pocket
money
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 can join a language course or buy new clothes without relying on their family.
Therefore
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, saving
money
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 helps young
people
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 to feel free and independent in their decisions.
In addition
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, saving
money
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 provides safety in unexpected situations. Life is full of uncertain events
such
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 as accidents, health problems, or job loss. A person who has savings can handle these problems more easily.
For instance
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, a student who saves
money
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 from part-time work can pay hospital bills if they suddenly get sick.
As a result
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, saving
money
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 reduces stress and creates stability during difficult times.
Finally
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, saving
money
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 helps
people
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 achieve their long-term plans. Education, buying a house, or starting a business all require financial support.
People
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 who start saving early will be more prepared for these opportunities.
For example
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, many young adults save for studying abroad or building their
future
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 careers.
Hence
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, saving is not only about the present but
also
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 about creating a better
future
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. In conclusion, saving
money
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 has many advantages for both young
people
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 and adults. It gives independence, protects against unexpected problems, and makes
future
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 plans more realistic.
Therefore
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, I believe that everyone should learn the habit of saving from an early age.

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improvement
Try to add more open view so readers see more depth. Give more reasons or a better link of each idea to the main view.
improvement
Use a bit more variety in sentence length and different word forms to show control of grammar.
strength
The mode of the view is clear and easy to follow.
strength
Three clear reasons with simple, easy examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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