IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree ?

Numerous physical problems might occur due to the consumption of packaged food and drink as they contain a significant proportion of
sugar
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.
Thus
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products
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 that contain artificial sweetness should be sold at high prices to promote a healthy lifestyle. I strongly disagree with
this
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 notion for two reasons which I will elucidate
further
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 in the passage.
First
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 of all, it is not a viable solution to make
sugar
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-based
items
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 expensive as these
items
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 contribute a large share in the country's economy. Generally, these processed
items
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 occupy 40% of the food market of any country and if they are marked expensive
then
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as a result
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 fewer
people
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 will buy them and
thus
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this
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 market might get collapsed. A large number of
people
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 who are employed in
this
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 sector will lose their job if
products
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 are sold at higher prices.
For instance
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, Coca-Cola only provides employment to half a million
people
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 globally if it makes sugary
products
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 expensive
then
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 it will directly affect the number of
people
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 who are employed there.
Secondly
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,
sugar
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 is an addictive substance and when we consume
sugar
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 it releases a chemical in the human body known as dopamine which gives the feeling of happiness and satisfaction. So we tend to consume
such
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products
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 on regular basis to get
this
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 feeling again and again. If
products
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 that contain
sugar
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 are marked expensive
then
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people
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 might not able to get them and it will affect their mental health.
For example
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, a growing body of research suggests that
people
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 who consume sweets daily are mentally stable and happy as compared to their similar counterparts.
Furthermore
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, several doctors
also
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 suggest eating sugary food to fight anxiety and depression. In conclusion, I am against the idea that sugary
items
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 should be expensive as they contribute largely to the nation's economy and give jobs to hundreds of citizens.
In addition
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, they are related to mental health indirectly and can be used as a medication to fight severe diseases like depression.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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