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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, school are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#countries #school #children #parents #work
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It is true that in the competitive world,
significant
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a significant
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 proportion of toddlers
spend
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spends
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their
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there
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 all day
time
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 at the schools because
of
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apply
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both
parents
Use synonyms
 are working.
This
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 essay will articulate its merits and demerits in the following paragraphs. To commence with the benefits of
this
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 trend when schools are increased their opening hours for taking care of
children
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. The most predominant one is that
children
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 can broaden their
horizon
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horizons
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 by spending
long
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a long
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time
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 at
school
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. To explicate it, students can work on their weak points with the assistance of
tutor
Correct article usage
a tutor
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 which is not possible at home.
For example
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, a recent survey was done conducted by the Education Department they revealed 9 out of 10 students got
highest
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the highest
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 score in their studies when they spend their 50%
time
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 at
school
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.
Thus
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,
school
Use synonyms
 is the best place for the
children
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 where they can utilize their
time
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 in the absence of
parents
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.
However
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, on the other side there
few
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are few
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 drawbacks when
parents
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 put their
children
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 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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 for the whole day. The most prominent one is that they do not have
time
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 for their leisure activities. To explain it, it leads to many health disorders which prohibit
the
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apply
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intellectual growth and it has
adverse
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an adverse
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Replace the word
effect
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affect
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effect
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 on their studies.
For instance
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, a headline of
famous
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the famous
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 news channel BBC BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION found that 80% of
children
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 are suffering
with
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from
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 psychological problems due to the busy schedule of
parents
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 and they need to stay all day in the
school
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.
That is
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 why
,
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apply
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 it has
detrimental
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a detrimental
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 effect on the health of the
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 as well as their curriculum. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some negative impacts on the development of
children
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but
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apply
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I believe that the positive sides outweigh them because
school
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time
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 helps students to hone their skills for becoming successful person
their
Change preposition
in their
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 life.
Submitted by lovepreetkaur2725 on

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