In some countries, school are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

It is true that in the competitive world,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
proportion of toddlers
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
all day
time
at the schools because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
parents
are working.
This
essay will articulate its merits and demerits in the following paragraphs. To commence with the benefits of
this
trend when schools are increased their opening hours for taking care of
children
. The most predominant one is that
children
can broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
by spending
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
at
school
. To explicate it, students can work on their weak points with the assistance of
tutor
Correct article usage
a tutor
show examples
which is not possible at home.
For example
, a recent survey was done conducted by the Education Department they revealed 9 out of 10 students got
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
score in their studies when they spend their 50%
time
at
school
.
Thus
,
school
is the best place for the
children
where they can utilize their
time
in the absence of
parents
.
However
, on the other side there
few
Add a missing verb
are few
show examples
drawbacks when
parents
put their
children
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
for the whole day. The most prominent one is that they do not have
time
for their leisure activities. To explain it, it leads to many health disorders which prohibit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intellectual growth and it has
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
show examples
Replace the word
effect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
on their studies.
For instance
, a headline of
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
news channel BBC BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION found that 80% of
children
are suffering
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
psychological problems due to the busy schedule of
parents
and they need to stay all day in the
school
.
That is
why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it has
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
effect on the health of the
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
as well as their curriculum. In conclusion,
although
there are some negative impacts on the development of
children
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I believe that the positive sides outweigh them because
school
time
helps students to hone their skills for becoming successful person
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life.
Submitted by lovepreetkaur2725 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: