IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many cities replace farmlands and parks with houses. Is it positive or negative?

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There is a trend that
houses
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 have replaced
farmlands
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 and
parks
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 in a range of cities. I believe that the disadvantages
about
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of
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this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, it is sometimes argued that the housing industry has some
benefits
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 for the public and governments. One of the most obvious
benefits
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 is that can help improve living conditions.
This
Linking Words
 means that if
houses
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 are built in planned places in cities., governments can provide heat, water, gas in a more effective way.
Also
Linking Words
, building
houses
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offers
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offer
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 more job opportunities to individuals.
For example
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, employees can find a variety of types of work, including design, construction, transportation, and decoration, which allows them to afford a better living standard.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the construction of
houses
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 can gain taxes which can be invested in other facilities
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, schools, and health
centers
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centres
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, destroying
farmlands
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 and
parks
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 leads to some issues to the environment and people’s life. To start with, the construction activity can demolish the habitats of some wild animals and plants.
For instance
Linking Words
, a range of birds and animals live in the countryside and
parks
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, which enables them to find
foods
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food
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 and reproduce. Without
farmlands
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 and
parks
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, they are likely to expose to the threat of
endanger
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endangerment
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.
In addition
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, the decrease of
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
an agricultural
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 area can cause
food
Correct article usage
a food
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 crisis.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to great conflicts with the increasing demand
on
Change preposition
for
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 foods in cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, city dwellers
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
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 in the concrete jungle cannot have a close the nature.
This
Linking Words
 means that people should suffer from the traffic jam, overcrowded living
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 and noise. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some
benefits
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about
Change preposition
to
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 the trend that
farmlands
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 and
parks
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 are replaced by
houses
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, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the
benefits
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.

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