Today, majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

#majority #children #grandparents #fact #parents

These days, for households that are still economically unstable, and especially after the severe effects of

pandemic

Add an article

the pandemic

a pandemic

show examples

, that can make both

parents

have to become the breadwinner in the family. Leaving their

children

for

grandparents

to take care of is a great choice of many

parents

This

can bring a lot of positives but

also

have a few drawbacks

affects

Correct pronoun usage

that affects

show examples

the whole family. Let’s start with the benefits.

First

, having

grandparents

for the upbringing of young

children

is it can make the relationship between

grandparents

and

grandchildren

stronger.

Second

, child-minding can keep the older members of a family energetic and vibrant, helping them battle loneliness, depression and

also

helping to increase the life span.

The

Correct article usage

Third

show examples

third

children

under the nurture of

grandparents

will be more knowledgeable about

history

Add an article

the history

show examples

and have a deep patriotism through our ancestor's historical lessons, which helps the

grandchildren

to build

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

moral values from an early age and

keeping

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

them entertained without the use of television and video games.

However

, the drawbacks should not be overlooked.

Grandparents

who are the people of the previous generation may have slightly outdated views and ideas compared to the generations of

parents

and

children

This

may not

good

Add a missing verb

be good

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

raising

grandchildren

For example

, for some elderly in Vietnam,

girl

Add an article

the girl

a girl

show examples

should only spend their time learning cooking and sewing, while boys should learn how to be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

breadwinners in the future. There are

also

a lot of

grandparents

who pamper their

grandchildren

very much,

this

may spoil the

children

misleading them to think that violation of ground rules is acceptable. And

that is

when the relationships between

grandparents

and birth

parents

in child-rearing methods become more stressed. In conclusion,

although

there are many positive in leaving

children

for

grandparents

nurture,

it’s still have

Change the verb form

it still has

show examples

some drawbacks that

parents

should consider carefully.

Submitted by myngoc3003 on Sat Mar 19 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some counties, some people believe having children and marriage is seen as the most important in their life. The other believe having a good job and salary is viewed as success. Discussing both and give your opinion.

Many people believe that all zoos should be closed, while others feel that zoos have a positive impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and TV is passive and does not require a person to use their imaginations. To what extent do you agree or disagree.